Sunday, December 28, 2008

4 season of loneliness



plz watch this video a new new new video of me, its 4 season of loneliness.hehehehe

Thursday, November 27, 2008

(POEM)

PLZ READ A *KULANG BA? by jhoey baldeo*

yo mahal bakit di na kita kilala
nagbago ang istilo mo ng pakikisama
bakit noon may kinang ang iyong mga mata
ngaun nagbago may bahid ng pangangamba
alam kong may nais kang sabihin ngunit takot aminin
ang yong damdamin hindi na laan sa akin
wala ka mang kibo itoy aking naramdaman
iiwan mo ako may iba ka ng natagpuan
ba't di ka nagreklamo kung hindi man sapat
kulang ba ang pag-ibig ko bakit naging huwad
sagad-sagaran naman kita kung mahalin
hindi ka nakontento bakit kulang pa rin

aanhin ang buhay kung ang puso mo di para sa akin
hindi kuntento kung di mo ko kayang mahalin
sayo binuhos lahat ng aking paglalambing
ngunit wala pa rin ano ba dapat kong gawin
sa twing makita ka akoy nagmumukang *aning (*not sure)
lahat ay binigay para ako ay pansinin
wala na talagang pagasa ang pagibig natin
parang bulalakaw na naglaho sa dilim
sa likha ng maitim na ulap ako'y nakatingin
dalangin mo ay taimtim sa puso ko nakatanim
kung tayo'y maghihiwalay sana sabihin sakin
nang ibigin ka pala ay talagang kulang pa rin

ipaglalaban ba kita wag na lang kaya
bali wala naman sayo ang aking pagtyatyaga
pero isipin mo diba nakakapanghinayang
nanghihinayang ako sa aking pinagdaanan
isipin mo naman kung pano kita nirespeto
inibig binuhos lahat ng todo-todo
bisyo babae ay aking tinigilan
pinaniwala sa sarili na ikaw lang kailangan
ganun na lang ba pwede bang paisplika
ang tanga ko talaga bat di ko kaagad napuna
na may mahal ka ng iba yun pala and dahilan
pinaikot pa ako yun din palang pupuntahan

yo nakikita mo ba ngaun saking mga mata
ang lungkot at sakit na aking nadarama
ang relasyon noon na ating iniingatan
biglang naglaho ng di alam ang dahilan
wala na yata iba pang paraan
ginawa ko na lahat para lang magampanan
ubos na ang lakas wala na akong maibigay
puso sarili na aking inalay
ayoko na suko na tama na ang paghihirap sawa
na pagod na akong umiyak
kung wala ng paraan ay di ko na ipipilit di mo
na pala ako mahal bat di agad nasilip

napakasakit parang hindi ko na makaya
wala na talaga wala ng natira
sabihin mo na lang na tayo ay wala na
para hindi nako parang asong may kadena
wag mo ng itago na ako'y iyong pinagsawaan
kahit di ipahiwatig akin ngang natuklasan
pag-ibig mo hindi man lang sa akin nilaan
umasa pa sayo na sabi mo na walang iwanan
wala akong panahon para ito ay iyakan
masyadong nasaktan hanggang dyaan na lang
ayoko ng muling daanan ang nakaraan
kaya kung pwede sana ako ay iyong lubayan

ANG DOTA AY PARANG PAG IBIG

Ang DOTA Parang Pag-IBIG
c Enchantress kb?
-habng lumalayo aq sau,mas masakt..

c Doom kb?
-pg anjan k,mainit paligid q..

c Silencer kb?
-pg jan k,nata2himk aq..

c Beastmaster kb?
-maalaga k kc..

c slardar kb?
-kc ms lumalaks tama q sau..

c darkterror kb?
-kw lng gumagalw sa mundo q..

c razor kb?
- naku2rynte kc puso q sau..

c nerubian weaver kb?
-ngha2bol aq lagi sau..

c omniknight kb?
-kw ang akng Guardian Angel..

bka aman CREEP k?
-lagi kc kitang kasama..

c phantom lancer b?
-cno pi2liin q sa inyo?

c techies b?
-suicide nq pg la k..

c leoric b?
-binubuhay u ulit me..

c crystal maiden b?
-kinikilig q pg ksma k..

c pudge b?
-nahuli u kc puso q..

c mirana b?
-dahil sau,napa2talon aq sa saya..

Frozen Throne/World Tree kb?
-pg la kn,la ng dahiln p
pra lumabn p..

Saturday, November 22, 2008

OPM BAND FROM BAGUIO SESSION ROAD

Blanko - Session Road







LYRICS OF BLANKO
SESSION ROAD



BlankOO
walang laman ang isip ko
Blanko
bulag at para bang tuliro
Blanko
walang halong biro
BlankOO …

Blanko
di alam kung saan magtatagpo
Blanko
bumabalik na naman sa iyo
Blanko
pangarap na sadyang totoo
Blanko…

[refrain]
pikit matang sumusunod
sa yakap mo nalulunod
at hindi makaramdam
mula nung ika’y nagpaalam

Blanko
sabik sa alaala mo
Blanko
di sinasadyang maging ganito
Blanko
nananaginip pang palayo
Blanko

Blanko
limilipad sumasaiyo
Blanko
inaalay lahat ng ito
Blanko
patawad sa kahinaan ko
Blanko…

[repeat chorus]

at hindi makaramdam
mula nung ika’y nagpaalam
Blanko(Blanko)
Blanko(Blanko)
Blanko(Blanko)

Monday, November 17, 2008

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONG


Youll Always Be Mine [1O23] - Phath



LYRICS



You'll always be mine
Phath
(Verse 1)
I really don’t know what to do
I really don’t know how to say
How much I really love you now
I think about it everyday

(Hook)
And I still can’t wait to hold you girl
And I still want you here in my world
‘Cause I know that we are meant to be
Forever, forever
You know I’ll always be there for you

(Chorus)
I like waking up in the morning babe
Looking at your pretty face knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like holding you in my arms at night
Underneath the moonlight knowing that you’ll always be mine
I like kissing you while you’re sleeping babe
Whispering I love you girl knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like waking up to your pretty smile
Touching your soft skin knowing that you’ll always be mine
Be mine be mine be mine be mine be mine be mine..

(Verse 2)
I love the smell of your perfume
I love those sexy clothes you wear
And every little things you do
Just make me wanna be with you

(Hook)
And I still can’t wait to hold you girl
And I still want you here in my world
‘Cause I know that we are meant to be
Forever, forever
You know I’ll always be there for you

(Chorus)
I like waking up in the morning babe
Looking at your pretty face knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like holding you in my arms at night
Underneath the moonlight knowing that you’ll always be mine
I like kissing you while you’re sleeping babe
Whispering I love you girl knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like waking up to your pretty smile
Touching your soft skin knowing that you’ll always be mine

(Verse 3)
Don’t have to worry about those tears falling down from your eyes
Don’t have to worry about no secrets I won’t tell you lies
Don’t have to be ashamed just tell me girl what’s deep inside
No I won’t never let it go I’ll make it alright

(Hook)
And I still can’t wait to hold you girl
And I still want you here in my world
‘Cause I know that we are meant to be
Forever, forever
You know I’ll always be there for you

(Chorus)
I like waking up in the morning babe
Looking at your pretty face knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like holding you in my arms at night
Underneath the moonlight knowing that you’ll always be mine
I like kissing you while you’re sleeping babe
Whispering I love you girl knowing that you’ll always be mine
And I like waking up to your pretty smile
Touching your soft skin knowing that you’ll always be mine
Be mine be mine be mine be mine be mine
Knowing that you’ll always be mine
Be mine be mine be mine be mine be mine
Knowing that you’ll always be mine

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Speaking Japanese - Filipino/English to Japanese translations:

Manok - Sekken
Mamaya - Sakana
Joke - Biru
Stereo - Akai
Cook - Giza-giza
Ayos - Furo oke
Fingernail - Koko
Laughed - Anata-wa
This - Itto
Small piece of cloth - Retasu
Cornfield - Mais-san
Hindi Masyado - Natsu
Cigarette - Yoshi
Ipagpaumanhin - Kamisori
Is this your property? - Arimoto?
Yes, this is my property.- Arikoto.
Is this yours? - Sayobato?
This is mine. - Sakinitu.
Can I have it? - Akinato?
You can have it. - Sayonato.
Can we have it? - Saminato?
You can have it. - Sanyonato
You've grown so thin! - Kitanabutomo!
We saw each other. - Kitakami.
We had a big get-together. - Kitakitakami.
That was my assumption. - Inakarako.
We will boycott the election. - Kaminoboto.
Are you a victim of discrimination? - Minamatakaba?
I give up. - Sukonako.
Ouch! - Haraiku!
What a sad life it is. - Hainaku.
Is this your car? - Otomoto?
Is this my car? - Otokoto?
Is this your noodles? - Mikimoto?
I'll take this. - Kukuninkoto.
This is my desk. - Itodesko.
Speechless? - Wasabe?
An ampalaya (bittermelon) - Kurukurubot
What are your thoughts? - Kuru-kuromo?
I am thinking. - Munimuniko.
Are you playing the guitar? - Gigitaraka?
Is this your underwear? - Jakeemoto?
Are you annoyed already? - Iniskanabane?
You're crazy!!! - Sirauromo!!!
How Do You Know One When You See One?

In a grand ballroom party conducted by the Philippine Society of Colleges and Universities, the Chairman of the Board got curious in knowing what particular schools attended the big celebration. So he checked out the house where it was all happening. Guess who he found out and where he found them?

UP (Diliman) - everybody was lined up to the attic to have a fraternity ritual
UP (Los Banos) - they were in the garden mowing the lawn
UP (Manila) - they were into "masamang bisyo"
Ateneo University - they were inside the TV room with a microphone chanting the "BLUE EAGLE" spelling
La Salle - they were eavesdropping
St. Louis - they were in front of the air conditioner
UE - they don't know what's an air condition
UST - they were everywhere
FEU - they were nowhere
MLQU - sob! they were not invited
San Sebastian College - how the hell did they pass by security?
Letran - the Security
Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the roof
TIP - they were the ones who created the leak
NU - they were outside the house selling cigarettes
JRC - they were the ones buying
Adamson University- went to Luneta Park instead and was having a good time
Sta. Isabel College- joined in and were Adamson's dates
CRC - what the hell is this party for?
PSBA - what the hell is CRC?
NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?
San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans while others where with Paulinians
St. Paul College- they thought they were with the Ateneans
La Consolacion - they wanted to be the Paulinians
Holy Spirit - they want the Paulinians
Miriam College- they were beside Ateneans . . . like always
Assumption - they were inside the bathroom three hours already since arriving
St. Scholastica - they were next in line
CEU - some were doing the dishes while others were busy with the laundry



Mahirap Ang Lahat

Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Santa Isabel College, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa Adamson University, mahirap umuwi kahit anong oras.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.


Where To Go To College?

If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle
If you have no money, go to PUP.


Friends at Hunting

Three friends La Sallite, a UP stude, and an Atenean went on a hunting trip.

The first night, the guy from UP comes back to cabin with a big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he cooly replies: "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
So the La Sallite decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody all over. "What happened?" they ask? "Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."


Pasikatan ng Graduates

UP: A number of past Philippine presidents graduated from UP. Presidents oxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and Marcos, to name just a few!
ATENEO: Hah! That's nothing, a number of Ateneo graduates became national heroes like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Gen. Antonio Luna, Evelio Javier and many others.
UP: That just goes to show you, UP graduates become presidents and lead countries while Ateneans end up getting shot!
LA SALLE: Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga gradweyt namin!
UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga graduates ninyo?
LA SALLE: Aba! Marami kaming sikat na gradweyts; si Gary Valenciano, Dingdong Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario, Rico Yan . . .


CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

A few days before Christmas, the Monsignor thought it would be a good idea if he solicited the support of a number of the Catholic Schools to get together to create a Nativity Scene in time for the Christmas Mass. The day before Christmas, the Monsignor discovered that the Nativity Scene was still incomplete so he made a few inquiries on why this was so
Ateneo reported it could come up with only two and not three wise men.
La Salle reported it couldn't come up with even a single wise man.
San Beda reported that it could only come up with three wise gays.
UP reported that they killed the three wise men.


The Exam

Si Pedro at Cardo after the exam.
Cardo: Perdo, nahirapan ka ba sa questions sa exam?
Pedro: Hindi!
Cardo: Ang galing mo naman!
Pedro: Nahirapan ako sa answers!


Colonial Mentality

Dahil sa nananatiling "Colonial Mentality" ng ating mga kababayan, marami ang nagpapalit ng kanilang mga pangalan matapos silang sumumpa ng kanilang US citizenship. Sa ibaba nito ay mga halimbawa ng mga datihang Pilipino na tuluyan ng itinakwil and kani - kanilang pangalang Pilipino.

Pangalang Pilipino ... Ipinalit sa American Name

1. Restituto Fruto - Tutti Fruti
2. Casimiro Bocaycay - Cashmere Bouquet
3. Rogelio Dagdag - Roger Moore
4. Veneracion De Asis - Venereal Disease
5. Alfonso De Asis - Alzheimer's Disease
6. Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun
7. Francisco Portero - Frank Porter
8. Juanito Lakarin - Johnny Walker
9. Esteban Pagtakhan - Stevie Wonder
10. Leon Mangubat - Tiger Woods
11. Burgos Hari - Burger King
12. Ligaya Almundo - Joy To The World
13. Maria Natividad - Mary Christmas
14. Ligaya Anonuevo - Happy New Year


Ilang Tanong

Ano ang hayop na hindi sigurado? - Baka

Ano ang hayop na pinuputol? - Cat

Ano ang hayop na laging ayos? - Ox


Spelling

Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
--Miguel: H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
--Miguel: H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
--Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig...


An Alcoholic Son's Letter To His Dad

Beer dad,
Gin na ko mag-iinom whisky kelan. Tanduayan mo yan.
Your son,
Miguel. (ayos pare!!)


Ways To Know You Are A Filipino

1. You point with your lips
2. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
4. You smile for no reason.
5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
8. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
9. You like everything imported or "state-side."
10. You Check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
11. You always offer food to all your visitors.
12. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
13. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
14. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
15. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
16. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger"(pronounced ham-boor-jer)
17. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
18. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
19. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
20. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
21. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
22. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
23. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
24. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."
25. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
26. You own a Karaoke System.
27. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
28. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar. schwing...)
29. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax
30. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room
31. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
32. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
33. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
34. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
35. This you 'll agree 100% ... Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.


Asenso Na

IDOT: "Kumusta na? Long time no see ah!"
BONI: "Kararating ko lang galing sa Africa."
IDOT: "Africa?"
BONI: "Doon kami nadestino."
IDOT: "Hindi ba maraming cannibals doon?"
BONI: "Nakakatakot nga, pero mga edukado na ngayon sila."
IDOT: "Hindi na ba sila kumakain ng tao?"
BONI: "Nangangain pa rin ng tao, pero gumagamit na ng kutsara!"


Pilosopo

MR DANILO: "I am your teacher, I am good in three languages."
PIKAW: "What are the subjects you're good at?"
MR DANILO: "Oh, I like Math and English."
PIKAW: "How do you say 'good morning' in Algebra?"


Funny & True Pinoy Signs Found While Traveling

No parking and repair here - sign on a house beside a car repair shop

Taxi and outside cars not allowed - sign at a parking lot

No Crossing Pedestrians will be apprehended. - sign at Philcoa

Sorry for the inconvenient. - typical roadwork sign

Your taxes is working. Temporarily close. Yet another typical roadwork sign

Slow Men at Work - PLDT sign

Please help our comfort room clean. - sign at a self-service restaurant in Cebu

Fresh frozen chicken sold here - sign in a Baguio grocery

Welcome to the only Catholic Country in Asia! Beware of pickpockets - sign near a Church

None ID, nothing entry - sign at construction site, Cubao

No trispassing. If you trispass, you will be biten by d?dog. - sign in Tondo

now showing- the carpenters - on a sign outside a construction site

Jojo's Beauty Salon, for man and woman - on a billboard in Pampanga

Barya lang po sa umaga - sign in jeeps

Johnny's, the Fried of Marikina - they sell tasty fried chicken, guess where?

Petal attraction - pangalan ng isang flower shop

"...experience is needed but not required.."- sa classified ads

This one is not in Pinas pero pwede na rin siguro: A church sign in front of the priest's reserved parking space: THOU SHALT NOT Park Here!

Maruya Carey, BananaramaCue - sa menu signboard sa Potato Corner kiosk sa Greenbelt

Actual store names in Metro Manila believe it or not:

Ali Baka (Shawarma)

Anita BakeryActual store names in Metro Manila believe it or not:

Beefer 150 ( Meat Shop )

Common Cents Store ( Sari-sari Store )

Crispy per minute ( Crispy Pata Eatery )

Curl Up And Dye ( Beauty Salon )

Doris Day And Night

Elizabeth Tailoring

Farmacia With Love ( A Drugstore )

Felix the Cut ( Barber Shop )

Goldirocks ( Gravel & Sand Shop )

Labo Optical

Mane Attraction ( Beauty Parlor )

Meating Place ( Meat Shop )

Memory Drug ( A Mercury Drug Clone )

Nacho Fast ( Nachos To Go )

Passers Buy ( Convenience Store )

R. Maramot Leasing (A Batangas Co.)

Saudia Hairlines ( Beauty Salon )

Scissors Palace ( Barber shop )

Second Time Around ( Second Hand Watch Store )

TapSi TurBi ( Tapa, Sinangag, Turon at Bibingka

The Way We Wear ( Boutique )

Wash & Carry ( Laundromat )

MacDonuts ( Donut Shop )

Mat & Jeep ( Jeep Accessories Shop )

Mercy Buko ( Fresh Coconut Roadside Shop )

Pizza Hot ( Pizza Place )

Your Best Vet ( Veterinary Clinic )

I saw this bakery in Project 6. It's called Bread Pitt.

My friend saw a sign infront of a 7-11 Convenience store being built. It says "sorry for the inconvenience"

Lito...Lapida Maker!

King Tuckee's Fried Tsiken....

Jullibee's wonder Chicken...

Cheeny's Roasters...

"original 1935 pandesal for sale" - A pandesal shop in aurora boulevard

"cinavon" -- with matching cinema film type logo laundromat

Mang Donalds - burger shop in pasig town proper

Cooking ng ina mo - on a carinderia

Cooking ng ina mo rin - right across cooking ng ina mo

We make modern and antique furnitures - along a highway in Pampanga

On the Ofc door of Atty. Domingo Carriedo fr. Cebu: the sign says, Notary Public Tumatanggap din po ng labada tuwing Linggo.
Nagtalo ang mga hudyo at instik kung sino ang nauna sa mundo.
Hudyo: kami, dahil kami ang nagpaku kay Hesus sa krus!
Instik: aber, saan hardware kayo bili pako?

Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang breeze at tide, bubula kaya?
Misis: aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bakit naman?
Promoter: Dahil walang tubig.

Feels great 2 b in bed waiting 4 sleep to cum. As sum1 rubs ur back, up 2 ur neck, ur ears, den u hir a soft whisper…"shhh hanapin mo ang mga pumatay sa akin."

A pinoy in New York was masturbating while looking at the sky. An American asked. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Fucking my wife in the Philippines via satellite!" The pinoy replied.

Nun riding a taxi.
Driver: I’d like to ask a favor if I may, sister. I have always fantasized kissing a nun.
Nun: OK. But first u have to be a catholic. Second, u hav 2 b single.
Driver: I am both catholic and single.
<>
Driver: thank you sister. But I must admit I lied 2 u. I am married and a muslim.
Nun: That’s OK. Im on my way to a costume party and my real name is Allan.

Ano ang sabi ng panda sa photographer?
Panda: dude, yoko ng black and white ha.

"Oo inaamin ko. Sila ay mga yakal, lawaan, apitong at narra. At kami ay saging lamang. Pero maghanap kayo ng puno sa buong pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso…saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang!"
-Mark Lapid (from the movie, "APOY SA DIDDIB NG SAMAR" hmm..panalong quotable quote..ibang level!)


10 QUOTABLE QUOTES:
better late than pregnant.
pag may tyaga, gud luck!
aanhin pa ang damo, kabayo ba ako?
pag binati ka ng bato, kawawa ka naman.
kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
its better to give, much better to receive.
cleanliness is next to godliness. Oiliness is next to blemishes.
ang taong naglalakad na matulin, pawisin.
pagkahaba-haba ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila.
honesty…is such a lonely word.
No No N No No No
No No N No No No
Oo Oohh Ohhh Ohhh

I See A Face In The Mirror That I Just Don't Like
But I Gotta Keep Tellin Myself That Its Alright
Cuz Now Im Older Theres No Sense In Me Crying Cos' Mama Said Am Not Like You
Used To Havin People Say That I Talk Like Him
Dipped Ma Pace And Ma Step So I Don't Walk Like Him
I Don't Know Wat I Found Inside A' Me But Its Got Me Over You

(Why Cry)
Not A Single Letter Or A Single Call From You
(Why Cry)
Am A Stronger Man Now And Its All Because Of You
(Why Cry)
Cuz I Cant Wait On You No More
I Made It Here Without You
So Tell Me Why Should I Cry

Mama Was The One Who Taught Me How To Ride My Bike
And She Was The One Who Taught Me How To Stand And Fight
Mama Was Ther For Me, Mama Was My Everything
Wen Ma First Day Of School Would Start
(Where Were You)
And Wen I First Had A Broken Heart
(Where Were You)
Those Were The Times I Most Needed You
But Thats What Got Me Through
Am So Over You

(Why Cry)
Not A Single Letter Or A Single Call From You
(Why Cry)
Am A Stronger Man Now And Its All Because Of You
(Why Cry)
Cuz I Cant Wait On You No More
I Made It Here Without You
So Tell Me Why Should I Cry

I No Its Hard
And Were Bound To Make Mistakes
But If Theres Anything I Learned From You Its Not To Runaway
(Runawaayy)
Through All The Complicated Situations In My Life
(I Wont Run)
(I Will Learn)
I Wont Cryyy
I Wont Cry

(Why Cry)
Not A Single Letter Or A Single Call From You
(Why Cry)
Am A Stronger Man Now And Its All Because Of You
(Why Cry)
Cuz I Cant Wait On You No More
I Made It Here Without You
So Tell Me Why Should I Cry

(Why Cry)
Not A Single Call From
(Why Cry)
Am A Stronger Man Now And Its All Because Of You
(Why Cry)
Cuz I Cant Wait On You No More
I Made It Here Without You
So Tell Me Why Should I Cry

So Tell Me Why Should I Cry

So Tell Me Why Should I Cry
Why Cry - Jay Sean

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Guro: Iho, nakita ko ang kuya mo na naglalaro ng tong-its sa kanto. Pinapabayaan na niya ang kanyang pag-aaral. Sana di mo siya tularan at pagbutihin mo ang pag-aaral mo.
Juan: Wag po kayong mag-alala ma’am, di ko naman po pinapabayaan ang pag-aaral ko eh.
Guro: Talaga! Alam mo bang magbilang?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Umpisaham mo nga
Juan: One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…Nine…Ten!
Guro: Magaling! Kaya mo bang ituloy?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Very Good! Sige nga. (Tuwang-tuwa)
Juan: Jack…Queen..King!!!!


*****

Pablo: Father, patawarin po ninyo ako.
Pari: Ano ang kasalanan mo?
Pablo: Nagnakaw ako ng limang manok.
Pari: Magdasal ka ng limang Ama Namin.
Pablo: Father, walong Ama Namin na po ang dadasalin ko. Babalikan ko pan yung naiwan kong tatlong manok.


*****

Sa hardin ng Paraiso.
Adam: Lord, hindi ko na kaya ang pagtukso ng ahas sakin!
Lord: maging matatag ka, anak. Ano ba ang tukso niya sa iyo?
Adam: Uy Supot! Supot! Supot!


*****

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!


*****

Pangalan Animal
Animal na hindi sigurado – BAKA
Animal na laging putol - CAT
Animal na palaging ayos – OX
Animal na pangit - eh, di COW

*****

kakatapos lang basbasan ng pari ang isang presong nakaupo sa silya-elektrika.
Pari: “Mayroon ka bang nais hilingin bago ka bawian ng buhay?”
Preso: “Opo.”
Pari: “Ano yun, anak?”
Preso: “Pwede po bang hawakan n’yo ang kamay ko hanggang bawian ako ng buhay?”


*****

Isang Pinoy galling sa Pinas ang nasa LAX customs inspection. Medyo kabado kasi may dalang daing (dried fish) sa loob ng maleta.
Inspector: What are those stuff in your suitcase?
Pinoy: Daing, sir!
Inspector: (Looking closely) No, they are not.
Pinoy: It’s true sir. They are daing.
Inspector: They are not dy-ing. These fish are already dead.


*****

Anong Isda

Guro: Wow! Ang ganda ng drawing mong kabayo Mario. Naku! Antonio, ano’ng klaseng isda ito? Halos di na makilala sa kabubura mo. Bangus ba ito?
Tonyo: Hindi Mam!
Guro: Ano nga ito? Tilapia?
Tonyo: Hindi rin po Mam.
Guro: (Galit na) ano nga ito, Lapu-lapu?
Tonyo: Bagoong Mam!

*****

A policeman saw a man on the top floor of a building.
Police: “Wag kang tatalon! Marami pang nagmamahal sa ‘yo!
Man: Tumahimik ka! Wag mo akong pakialaman! ‘Di ako maka-send!


*****

Anna: Tuwing naririnig kitang kumakanta, para bang gusto kong i-tape…
Inday: Talaga!
Anna: OO! I-tape ang bibig mo!!!


*****

Ama

May isang langgam na dumapo sa tenga ng elepante. May ibinulong ito at hinimatay ang elepante.
Tanong: Ano’ng ibinulong ng langgam?
Sagot: Buntis ako at ikaw ang ama!


*****

PMA Cadet

Pedro: Pare may tsimis na may bading ditto sa dorm natin.
Juan: Huh! Sino?
Pedro: Sasabihin ko sa iyo pero kiss muna.

*****

Police Chief: “Guards, may nakawalang preso sa selda! Bantayan ang mga exits!”
Later…..
Guard: “Sir, nakatakas ang preso.”
Police Chief: “ Paano nangyari iyun?”
Guard: “ Sir, sa entrance siya dumaan.”

*****

Pari: Sister, halika dito sa silid.
Sister: Diyos ko.
Pari: Isara mo ang pinto, patayin mo ang ilaw!
Sister: Diyos ko.
Pari: Tabi kas sakin.
Sister: Oh God!
Pari: Tingnan mo itong relo ko Glow in the dark!


*****

Kriminal: Father, forgive me for I have sinned
Pari: Sabihin mo na lahat ang kasalanan mo anak.
Kriminal: Father, pinapatay ko ang lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos. Kayo po ba Father naniniwala doon?
Pari: Sino ‘yun?


*****

Lumubog ang barko

Pari: San Pedro! San Jose! San Juan!
Madre: Sta Maria! Sta Clara! Sta. Lucia!...
Intsik: Anu beyan! Lubok na nga bahko tawak tawak pa kayo ng pasahero!!

*****

Intsik: Patay punta sa heaven, asks St. Peter: “ Ano dyan sa kabila?”
St. Peter: “Wala, impyerno. Super init!!”
Intsik: “Lipat ako dun.”
St. Peter: “Ha! Bakit?!”
Intsik: Ako benta ice water.



*****


The Race

Isang araw, nagkasundo ang tatlong sperm na magkakaibigan na magkakarerahan…
Sperm 1: Mga pare, unahan tayo papuntang egg! Manalo gwapo.
Sperm 2: O sige ba, pero mga pare, sigurado akong mananalo ako!
Sperm 3: Pareho kayong mayabang, umpisahan na natin ito! 1,2,3….

Wala pang 5 seconds ay prang flash na tumakbo si Sperm 3. Pero, ng papunta doon ang Sperm 1 at Sperm 2, nakita na lang nilang pabalik si Sperm 3…

Sperm 1: Pare, ang galing mo, ha. Nakita mo ba yung egg?
Sperm 2: Bakit ka nga ba bumalik, pare?
Sperm 3: Pare, alis na tayo dito…
Sperm 1. Bakit pare, pangit ba?
Sperm 3: Hindi pare, alang egg dito..
Sperm 2: Eh, nasaan tayo?
Sperm 3: Pare, ang nakita ko tae!!!

*****

Kotong

Pulis: Bayad ko sa cape, o.
Intsik: Aba, bakit ka bayad?
Pulis: Utos ni Lacson, wala nang kotong.
Intsik: Aba sige, simula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa kape mo.


*****

Pasyente Last year

Isang pasyente ang dumating sa klinika ni Doctor Paking.
Torko: “Doktor, natatandaan n’yo pa ba ako?”
Doctor: “Parang nakita na kita.”
Torko: “Ako ho iyong pasyente ninyo last year.”
Doctor: “Ikaw nga! Ano ba ang maipaglilingkod ko?”
Torko: “Itatanong ko ho snaa sa inyo kung puwede na akong maligo!”


*****

Kambing

Meron contest sa Pilipinas, naglabanlaban ang USA, japan at Pilipinas. Ang gagawin ay kung sino ang tatagal sa mabahong amoy ng mga kambing:

USA: Tumgal ng 10 minutes
JAPAN: Tumagal ng 15 minutes
PILIPINAS: Nahihiya pa si Pedro, pero nung trn nya na, ang nag-alisan ay yung mga kambing sa sobrang baho niya!!!

*****

Pakadirihan

The contestants were Mr. Canada, Mr. Japan and of course, Mr. Philippines!

Si Mr. Canada ay nag-ipon ng napakaraming sipon at plemang malapot at dinura sa pader *splat!* hiyawan ang mga audience!

Si Mr. Japan naman nag-ipon ng napakaraming kulangot, iab’t ibang kulay dinikit nya sa pader hiyawan ang mga audience!

Nung lumabas si Mr. Philippines naglakad lang siya patungo sa pader.. nagBOO! ang mga audience! Nang biglang dinilaan nya ang dipon, plema at kulangot! Standing ovation!


*****

Ang Tae!

May dalawang lasing na naglalakad ng makakita sila ng tae ng kalabaw…
Lasing 1: Pare! Cake!
Lasing 2: Gago! Lasing ka ng talaga tae yan ng kalabaw!
Lasing 1: Tang ina pare! Cake yan!
Lasing 2: Sige! Sige..tikman nalang natin para sigurado! At tinikman nga nila..
Lasing 1: Pare tae nga….
Lasing 2: Sabi ko sau e… buti nalang di natin natapakan!


*****

Ang mga Langaw

May dalawang langaw sa ibabaw ng tae…
Langaw 1: Pare, na-uutot ako!
Langaw 2: Tang ina pare! Wala namang ganyanan! Kumakain tayo!

*****

Erap: Miss sosoli ko na tong video na ni hire ko
Miss: Bakit po sir?
Erap: Walang picture, walang sound, saying suspens thriller pamandin.
Miss: Wala hong problema papalitan po natin, anu hu ba ang pamagat?
Erap: Head cleaner….


*****

Yeltsin: We are the first person in space.
Clinton: We are the first on the moon.
Erap: We will be the first to land on the sun.
USA: You can’t land on the sun, its too hot.
Erap: You know, were not stupid, we gonna go there at night.


******

Wish Ka

Genie: Wish ka!
Erap: Lagyan mo ng flyoevers ang buong Pilipinas! Etong Mapa!
Genie: Hirap naman! Iba na lang!
Erap: Gawin mo akong matalino!
Genie: Asan na nga yung mapa?


*****

Erap talking to a sales girl.
Erap: Need gloves as gift sa asawa ko but don’t know her size.
Sales girl: Touch my hand so you will know her size.
Erap: She also needs panty and bra.




*****

Scenario: Nasusunog ang MalacaƱang.
Lacson: Erap, nasusunog na ang MalacaƱang kailangan na nating umalis ditto, tara dun tayo sa fire exit.
Erap: Tanga ka ba dun nga lumalabas ang apoy eh!


*****

Noong grade I si Erap sa Jain High School San Juan, nagkaroon sila ng spelling contest classmate nya noon si Lacson.

Teacher: Ping, spell cat.
Ping: Ma’am.. c..a..t
Teacher: Very good!!!
Teacher: Erap, spell boy.
Erap: Ma’am… b..o.. (tapos umupo na sya)
Teacher: Wrong!!!!
Erap: Why (y) ma’mam?
Teacher: Correct!!!


*****

May pulong sina Pres. Ramos At VP Erap at ginaganap ito sa Shangri-la Hotel. Habang kumakain sila…
Ramos: Ang sarap ng order natin, no erap.
Erap: Yes sir, busug na mga ako e.
Ramos: Erap, rice please.
Erap: (tumayo at nag-hintay ng matagal)


*****


Erap: Loi soli ko na itong isang litrong bote ng coke.
Loi: Ok (then after 2 minutes bumalik si erap sa bahay)
Loi: O ang bilis mo naming bumalik.
Erap: May nakalimutan ako eh.
Loi: Ano?
Erap: Sumbrero
Loi: ???
Erap: Eh nakasulat ditto sa bote return with cap

*****

Asawa: Hon ipagtimpla mo naman ako ng orange juice.
Erap: Ok hon teka lang ha.
Asawa: Hon ba’t nakatulala ka dyan sa lata ng orange juice na yan?
Asawa: Hoy! Hon ano bang nangyayari sayo?
Erap: Eh kasi sabi ditto sa lata ng orange juice… Concentrate!

*****

Nasa white house si erap patungong oval ofiice kasabay si Bill naglalakad.
Bill: Erap sabi nila bobo ka raw.
Erap: Etung si Bill on, parang hindi politician syempre sinisiraan lang ako.
Bill: Ah ganoon ba? Eh ‘yung suot mong prang bracelet sa kamay para ano iyan?
Erap: Ah eto ba? Para malaman ko kung alin ang kaliwa at kanan.


*****

Hukom: Bitay ang parusa kay Erap at sa dalawa pa niyang kasama. But before that, they have a choice. Pwede silangmamili, pwedeng electric chair or injection with aids virus.
Kasama ni Erap: Pinili ng dalawa electric chair.
Erap: Pinili yung injection.
Kasama ni Erap: Nagtaka ngayon yung dalawa tapos sabay tanong kay Erap. Kakosa: bakit pinili mo ang injection with aids?
Erap: Hoy! Wag kayong maingay. Atin-atin lang ito! Nakacondom ako. Hehehehe


*****

At the nowhere army. Erap, Cory and Ramos papatayin nauna, Ramos.

Army: Ready aim…
Ramos: Lumilindol lumilindol!!! Nagtakbuhan ang lahat at nakatakas si Ramos.
Cory’s turn
Army: Ready aim….
Cory: May kalaban may kalaban!!! Nagsitago ang lahat.
Erap: Ah! Gann pala ha!
Army: Ready aim…
Erap: Fire!!!
Dedo si Erap.


*****

Erap: Ano’ng ginawa mo diyan?
Secretary: Hinahanap ko kung ano ang pinagkaiba ng opinion sa conclusion.
Erap: Ah ganito iyon kung baga sa pintuan kung openyun makakapasok ka pero kung kungklosyon hindi ka makakapasok diba?
Secretary: Ngeee!


*****
Q: What alcoholic drink in the USA was popularized by an Ilocano?
A: Harvey Wallbanger

*****

Q: Kung maliit na palanggana at palangganita, ano ang maliit na batya?
A: Tansan!

*****

Q: What is the sensitive part of the body when masturbating?
A: The ears.
Q: Why?
A: To hear incoming footstep.

*****

Q: Paano mo mapapagkasyo ang 71 katao sa isang kotse at tumatakbo pa kayo ng 120 Mph.
A: Ganito yun: Iyung dalawang tao nasa likod ang nag-si-sixty nine, then plus driver and watcher.

*****


Alin ang matalim?

Q: Alin ang mas matalim, ngipin o puwet?
A: Puwet, ang puwet kayang putol ng tae, kaya ba ng ngipin mo yon? Subukan mo nga.

*****

Luhod

Q: Alam niyo ban a ang pinakabanal ng mga tao sa mundo ay ang mga bakla?
A: Kasi mahilig silang lumuhod sa kanilang santo papa!
Q: Bakit maraming bading sa Roma?
A: Kasi nandoon ang papa!
Q: Bakit tinatamad magturo sa AMA ang mga bading?
A: Kasi mga ama ang nandoon, gusto nila papa!

*****

Kalbo

Q: Bakit matamis ang ulo ng kalbo?
A: Eh Kasi panot siya (pronounced panutsa)

*****

Similarity

Q: Ano’ng similarity ng sperm at mayonnaise?
A: Pareho silang galling itlog at parehong Ladies Choice.

*****

Q: Anong bagong tawag kay Batman at Robin matapos silang masagasaan ng pison?
A: Flatman at Ribbon

*****

Q: Paano namatay si Cinderella?
A: Pagkagat ng midnight, yung kaniyang tampon, nagging pumpkin.
JOSE: Kumusta ang assignment?
RICK: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
JOSE: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan? Baka isipin
nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!

-----------------

TOTO: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
JOVY: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
TOTO: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap niya!

-----------------

DOK: May taning na ang buhay mo.
JUAN: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
DOK: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
JUAN: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?
DOK: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!

-----------------

LITO: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
JOSE: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?!
Ang H2O ay water! At ang CO2... COLD water.

-----------------

”Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang
sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.”
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado.
"Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."O,ano, meron bang
basketball sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong
balita sa 'yo. Ang maganda, may basketbol doon. Ang masama...
kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!" (ngek!)

-----------------

Usapan ng dalawang bata...
JUNJUN: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo'yang
Pacific Ocean , siya ang humukay nun!
PEDRO: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea ?
JUNJUN: Oo...
PEDRO: Siya ang pumatay nun!

-----------------

STEWARDEES: Do you want a drink, sir?
SIR: What are my choices?
STEWARDEES: Yes or No.

-----------------

MISIS: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway
Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!
MISTER: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa
siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!

-----------------

Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang
ipagsabi.Nahihiya ako...
Mister: Okey.
(Kinabukasan, dumating Collector ng Meralco.) ..
COLLECTOR: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.
MISIS: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
COLLECTOR: Nasa record po.
MISTER: Bakit Naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?
COLLECTOR: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sarecord, magbayad kayo!
MISTER: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?
COLLECTOR: Puputulan kayo!
MISTER: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?
COLLECTOR: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila.

-----------------

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!

-----------------

TANONG: What is the difference between a girlfriend,a call girl and a wife?
SAGOT: Post paid, pre paid, unlimited.

-----------------

Sa isang classroom...
TITSER: Class, what is ETHICS?
PETER: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
TITSER: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.

-----------------

JUAN: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay
kaming kumain. Ngayongmahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
PEDRO: Baligtad yata?
JUAN: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

-----------------

ANAK: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma'am kung ano raw ang propesyon mo.
TATAY: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
ANAK: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?
TATAY:'Yung taga-ayos ng radio sa car!

-----------------

”Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang
kanyang misis na may katalik na lalaki sa kama”...
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?
Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!

-----------------

ROD: Bakit bad trip ka?
HARRY: Nagtampo sa 'kin ang utol ko.
ROD: Bakit naman?
HARRY: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
ROD: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?
HARRY: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!


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alaminos city, pangasinan, Philippines
im JHOEY DUMAGUING BALDEO, possesses expansive imagination... interpersonal exploitation (sometimes huh)... display supercillious impertubability, cold-blooded, nonchalant, unimpressed, inflated valuation of oneself. vicissitudinal in nature. get it?erratic... prehensile... maverick... someone who exhibits great independence in thought and in action.. yeah, im a rebel! a noncorformist... devouring leviathan and and neurotic moody human specie. aberrant! my behavior departs substancially from the norm. lone wolf. a person who avoids the company of the assistance of others. subject to sharply varying moods. accutely responsive mentally or mentally