Nagtalo ang mga hudyo at instik kung sino ang nauna sa mundo.
Hudyo: kami, dahil kami ang nagpaku kay Hesus sa krus!
Instik: aber, saan hardware kayo bili pako?

Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang breeze at tide, bubula kaya?
Misis: aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bakit naman?
Promoter: Dahil walang tubig.

Feels great 2 b in bed waiting 4 sleep to cum. As sum1 rubs ur back, up 2 ur neck, ur ears, den u hir a soft whisper…"shhh hanapin mo ang mga pumatay sa akin."

A pinoy in New York was masturbating while looking at the sky. An American asked. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Fucking my wife in the Philippines via satellite!" The pinoy replied.

Nun riding a taxi.
Driver: I’d like to ask a favor if I may, sister. I have always fantasized kissing a nun.
Nun: OK. But first u have to be a catholic. Second, u hav 2 b single.
Driver: I am both catholic and single.
<>
Driver: thank you sister. But I must admit I lied 2 u. I am married and a muslim.
Nun: That’s OK. Im on my way to a costume party and my real name is Allan.

Ano ang sabi ng panda sa photographer?
Panda: dude, yoko ng black and white ha.

"Oo inaamin ko. Sila ay mga yakal, lawaan, apitong at narra. At kami ay saging lamang. Pero maghanap kayo ng puno sa buong pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso…saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang!"
-Mark Lapid (from the movie, "APOY SA DIDDIB NG SAMAR" hmm..panalong quotable quote..ibang level!)


10 QUOTABLE QUOTES:
better late than pregnant.
pag may tyaga, gud luck!
aanhin pa ang damo, kabayo ba ako?
pag binati ka ng bato, kawawa ka naman.
kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
its better to give, much better to receive.
cleanliness is next to godliness. Oiliness is next to blemishes.
ang taong naglalakad na matulin, pawisin.
pagkahaba-haba ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila.
honesty…is such a lonely word.